Solitude Journey

2005-07-08T21:35:00.000+08:00

wow
4mth since i last blog
hmm
sorrie for that
cuz tts some prob w my modem which doesnt allows me to access to the net

who cares whether i updated my blog
.
byes.
i think i don wanna blog anymore.
dono.

2005-03-01T19:09:00.000+08:00

its a long time since i last blogged.

o level result's out today.
i dono how people i know did.
cuz i din ask.
and it does concern me neither.

but it was tedious.
we had to stay in the stuffy hall.
real damn hot.
and sat til our butt rot.
out leg numb.
torture.
suppiah n nathan sure have a way to torture us.

i passed my geog.
mircally.
i thot i was gg to fail.
13/25
not very good grade.
was not very satisfied.
ky got 19/25
she's mad.

im going to fail my physics.
trust me.
tmr.
wad fcuking statistic electricity n current electricity?
crapp.
i don understand a fuck.
VJ lousy.
cannot teach
still wanna teach.
okay. i don mean to insult him.
but get it right,
it's a FACT
ask our class those who's taking physics.
they will give u the same ans.
dono how he manage 2 yrs.
taking care of o`level classes.
i miss ms aishah. mrs kumar. erm. even ms cheng n julie tan.
cme?
worst.
why cant i read books in class?
u prefer us to talk uhh?
when i took out my book.
he'll complain.
ky was reading it from head to toes.
n he was keeping quiet.
biased.
haha.

ok.
i gonna slogg for phy.
i don wanna fail.
n mt.
chinese test tmr
3 chps.
think i gonna make it.
ok freak.
dance.
shiit.

hope we can convince ham to let us change the way the devils customes.
cuz i don see any wrong if we change.
cuz we look freaking suckling with that suit.
we had better suggestion mister.
uh hhhuh.

and sad to say.
im losing confidence in dis performance.

the devils are losing their mood knowing that we are going to wear those shit costumes. the cheekies n soldiers are still losing the steps. *last part*
ok i think ham is gg to b disappnted. sorry.

2005-02-06T23:32:00.000+08:00

***WARNING***
PLS support the unity troupe on [[o6th march 2oo5]] for anti drug campign !!
it's a hiphop dance competition organise by 'some organisation'. we had our 2nd runners up last year in the prelim. this time round we will win the war and race with numerous convent girl schools together. we will be meeting RGS n CHIJ-TPY (last yr champion in both our prelim round and finals) whom will be sending in two teams this year.

VENUE: SUNTEC CITY
DATE: o6th MARCH 2oo5
TIME: TO BE CONFIRM

we promise to make a good show
so be there and shout out your lungs at us!!
dance rocks u!

everything is not going to be fine.
NO.
so meaningless and empty.
i still think of you.
I HATE THE NEW YEAR!!

yes i m afraid.
i m afraid of hurting u
not afraid of being hurt
i don wanna make another mistake
again.

2005-02-04T14:31:00.000+08:00

****!!!IMPORTANT IMPORTANT!!!!****

Take note of the coming event of our Unity Dance Troupe on 6th March 2oo5 presenting the funkiest hiphop moves at the ANTI-DRUG Campign -prelim- 2oo5. PLease make sure to be present on that day to give us your full support.

Information as below:

Date: 6th March 2oo5 [ Sunday ]
Venue: Suntec City
Time: NOT CONFIRM.

We'll promise to do a good show.
Just make sure you turn up.

The POWER will rocks on!

Tian`//

2005-01-25T14:21:00.000+08:00

now at guanine lab sia.
zhiling starting to luff like hayena AGAIN
omg
she's beside me dis time round.
haha.
so long nv update my blog le sia
wads happening
oh
pc hang sia
dono wad happen
not hang la
is dono wad wei did to e com
cannt operate le
but e repairman coming dis coming fridae
where funkamania is taking place
woohoooo.
details for those who are interested to go k:

erherm.
Date: 28 January 2005
Venue: Ngee Ann City Civic Plaza
Time: 6pm (think so)

be there k guys
cuz e coolest crew the iLLers will be there and win e trophy. ((:
trust me.

heehee.
k ciAoz.
still gt dance training in like half an hr time

actually im here to dl songs needed for e antidrug sia
but so sorry
cnnt find
cuz hse com spoiled mar
cnnt dl
den no body can dl
ma de
so sway
k lar
o
todae waiming bdae
evnthg i hate heem
wahaha
happi birthdae

2005-01-14T18:16:00.000+08:00

GUYs are jerk!
they are freak!
They are low-classed animals which use only their lower part of their body to think. Why aint there any decent guys in the world? Why do they exist in e first place?

Scientific explanation: they exist to prolong the natural of reproduction.

MY explanation: they exist to insult girls and humilate them and use them as wadever shit they feel like it.

why is adam a guy? why did eve fall for him? why did god create them?

wadever shit i m writing pls pardon me.
i just cant stand some jerks on earth.

apologised to those who's attached to some wonderful guys. u girls are lucky.

aya actually dis's wad happen:

i was traveling home in bus 3o7 - boarded opposite lot one. i saw dis disgusted scene on bus. as i sat down, i realise there was dis couple [girl uniform, boy homeclothes] behaving so disgusted on e bus. wadever shit it was i m not going to describe but i had this feeling:

"Desperate guys get girls to satisfied their 'needs' by having someone physically able to touch and let him feel like a guy?"

what the hell man.

totally disappointed about guys.

i think all freaking good decent guys are all extinct in the world.
they were either attached OR married.
sad right.
then wad choices does the remaining girls left?
being insult and humilate by some jerky bastards?

o man.
if this is my life.
i rather be a lesbian.

//PS. I AM NOT A LESBIAN wakaka. don wu hui worh.

sad right. nvm. i am NOT lonely being alone. ((:

Anth entry of me since monday.
tues: had dance. o dear. it's a torturious one. we had brushing ups for syf. 'chaneling' w/o my dancing shoe was reallyy terrible. i had blisters at the end of the day. we had selections for danceworks. the seniors were seriously werent pleased w the enrolment. there are peeps whu gt selected on deir first day of lesson and some juniors whu went thick and thin w us werent selected. it is gg to b a ALL-GIRLS performance. sum peeps werent happi abt dis. ok. a fact is that the guys aint gg to be committed to the performance and the passion is not there. i dont wish these guys will ruin our dreams of gaining the champion for dis coming event. i have very high hopes and expectations for myself in this coming event. i really wish we could obtain the top three in the prelimary round and get into the final stage. good luck girls!! lets work hard for this coming performance!! hey peeps who read this. Pls come and support us, detailed will be posted later on so stay tune kks wahaha. ((:

wed/thur: let it pass pls. its just normal skool days with me waking up at 6.15am and slacking for phys and poa. and i couldnt remember much neither.

nx

fri/today: hmm. there was so many single periods today. phys, bio, emath and mt. i really pity mdm lim. she is a good teacher in fact. but our class just get too un-controlled. i dont know. i felt that she is a good teacher. but she is giving us up soon. so sad. 'sorry lao shi'

after sch had a talk w joys xy kang w ky outside e conference rm. were discussing about the dancework stuffs. xy n joys really like the guys to join in. sad thing to say: justin weiping ben rejected our kind offer. wth. fine. we can survive w/o guys.

went 7-11 makan food. cuz we todae budget. haha. ysd ate macdonals no money liaos. so today makan maggi mee. went lot one w my darlingg kkai yyin!! erm. shop for caro present. tmr her burfdae ler. den went pop a lil. saw mukamil myy old buddyy-plus-neighbour. went library. so guai right? ((: looked for books concerning dance. lol. wahaha. but in e end was just some weird longg nagging theory CHINESE novels. but nvm. i took out one book so geogology. abt natural disaster on tsunamis, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, floods, bla bla bla.. and dis erm. wedding fashion book.[im getting married!!] hahaha. we sat at e children section. my darlingg was doing her chinese homework. she so kelian sia. so many chinese homework. walau. so damn damn damn damn damn COLDDD. brrrr. we had no watches nor hp w us so we cant check out e timing so decide to leave. saw yingjie n some seniors. she turns pretty ler. ((: saw kang too. she learning malay. lol. went down e escalator saw yupei shelly n qiaoyi. dey wearing unity uni. haha. went breadtalk buy bread den went back.
den e 3o7 thingy i said ler wad. hmm. tts it.

wahh sian.
sat gg cpf board in e morning. caro bbq in e evening.

sun gg raffles city attend illers' free lessons on locking popping breaking bla bla bla.. wanna go!!!!!! ((:

;sleepy

2005-01-10T17:08:00.000+08:00

i climbed the stairs all the way to 13th floor.
i noe i m crazy.
just don feel like taking the lift.
so took a 'walk'

met this weird and interesting old man in the bus
he was preaching about how studies are important
and talking about how fortunate the childrens now adays were
and dis lil junior of mine [whom i dono who]
an indian girl. and me was like. "???"
but nvm. he is old. he's eighty. so must respect.

we had character building today.
and VJ was like totally preaching the whole three lessons cuz e class werent listening at all. wahaha.

geog nx. chan was grumbling again.

recess.

went hall to assemble.
nx nx
we had english
okay. an interesting one here.
we had reading
and was reading-aloud
when it came to desmond
fausta tan came up with a stupid idea
he ordered the whole class to assemble and we headed to the bball court
we sat around the 'eagle'
and desmond had to shout aloud.
wahaha.
sounds farnie.
den ww was saboing some girls
kaiyin kana
vien kana
yin so pityful today
morning headache + gastric.
nv takkaire of ureself lar.
den fausta tan was demanding us to get ourselves a journal.
and he will be the one reading.
o pls.
my lunch was milktea + wedges + hellopanda.
diet? wahaha.
tmr gt trainings.
i hate ncc
i hate ncc.
ok done.
i noe wad i can write for my eng journal now.
full pg of
" I HATE NCC "

2005-01-09T15:39:00.000+08:00

i dare u.
don use the com.
i fix everything wad u doing?
sleeping.
wad u doing when i trying to fix the telep line?
u blass the music
trying to protest it's annoying ar?
pls lar.
don agree on things u NOT doing.
don dare me when u don have the capability to DARE.

don throw ur nasty temper on me
i don give a shit damn to ur ass
i sae i'll move it meaning i WILL

;fuck off.

mommy sae i should respect u
but i don see the need to
if u DON respect me.
or even.
respect her. and yourself.

yar im piss.
very piss with u.
i noe u are pissed w me too.
i m attitude
i m like this.

don like it?
get ur ass away.

don slammed at ur door.
i broke a hole there remember?
don slammed at my wardrode.
u will pay if it cracks.
DON show attitude to your mother
she doesnt deserve this kinda treatment.

get it by why i say " or even.
respect her. and yourself. "

sadly to say,
u don even respect your father.

wad did u promise him?
and u upset your mother.

don point fingers on past grudges i had with u
no point clinging on to things that have passed.
now im saying is wad happening now.

there'a a limit to my patience.

if u wan me to change.
and u cant see that im trying.
oh im so sorry.
my efforts wont pay if u doesnt change either.

get this clear.

2005-01-08T22:13:00.000+08:00

i don like it when people try to control my life.
i don like it when u guys do things i don like.
i don like it when i felt like i'm a fool.
i don wanna be like a buffon.
i don like it.

was out nearly the whole day. really gotta comment on this morning funkamania prelim. it was great wasnt it. i really enjoyed alot man. whole body felt so itchy when i see people dancing. ((: and hey hey nathan principal and supia and kangg too. watch funkamania to get the correct meaning of revealing. basically, all of u failed ur vocab.

well. twenty-four teams participated in dis prelim. and ten grps were selected to get in the finals. congrates both my choreographer and my 'sister' ann. both their teams got into the finals. ((: gong xi gong xi!

really look forward for the grand finals at ngee ann city civic plaza on 28jan 7pm. it will be three weeks away and it will be on a friday. well, i will still be there. of cuz! ((:

ayo~ was trying to practice my flexibility on the floor thirty minutes ago. i was struggling on the ground like some dead fish. x= mommy was trying to daunt at me by saying that i will over-stretch and ask me to to struggle if i cant 'go down' anymore. i noe she's afraid i might hurt myself. cuz i realise its a long time since i last really give myself a good stretch. ((; well, i shall try to do it bit by bit everyday. if possible. to improve myself technically and show people who belief i cant do split that efforts pay. ((:. provided i got e determination. x=

i take a look at my past;
it's like something so foolish.
i should have spent my life more meaningful
i should have spent it fullest.
maybe i should studied even harder
maybe i should have more perseverance.
maybe this maybe that.
maybe i shouldnt regret on things i had done.
coz wad done cannot be undone.

i take a look at my future;
full of question marks.
full of mystreies.
full of stories.
wad should i do so that my life will b meaningful?
wad should i do to live my life to the fullest?
wad should i do in order not to regret anymore?
someday one day perhaps today tomorrow nx week or even now.
i should sit down and ask myself.
so that i wont regret.

when u re born
u are a piece of clean white paper.
as u grow
there will be colors,
scratches,
drawings,
vandalism.
and when u get too frusatrated
u torn the paper.
maybe it is time for u to change a paper.
and then, u will realise,

u are reborn.

2005-01-07T23:15:00.000+08:00

Shall blog a little.
I like this skin.
It's nice isnt it?
But except that i felt the girl is a bit plump x=

Hmm.
Actually i expect tomorrow to be on of my days during the holidays when i could get enough sleeping hours or wait till the sun shines on my butt and everything. How disappointing can it be. There's this prelimery round for the 2oo5 Funkamania tomorrow so i shall forsake my sleeping hours and get up early morning as early as 8 oclock to catch a transport method to NUS. x=

dance or sleepness more important?
actually both matters alot to me.
oops.
i have not being practising my flexibility
since last training.
wad a lazy dancer i am. x=

but now plus one more important factor i must do. and i've decided, my new year resolution shall be : study for Os.

Is this a weird new year resolution? Well wad i can say is im trying hard ok. cuz i admit since the past 15years of my life, i have not being a very good student by studying well and stuff. but dis time round i have to settle my heart and slog for Os. THink of the factors and how enjoyable it will be after 10mths of slogging and i shall work for this goals. x=. erm. do i sound sarcastic?

xina called me jus nw. she said ncc MO change to mr fan. noe wad he said? he said i betta get my ass back to ncc b4 i kana detention for four hours each time i skip one. oh pls. sometimes, i might as well sit in the detention room for 4 hrs den attending the training for 3hrs. its jus an hr diff and i can study. why not? i am attitude. who cares.

i miss my father. I miss heem alot.
where are u daddy?
shall i be satiate with wad i have now?
i cant.
u are not here.
how can i be happy?
im afraid
when i lie on my bed in the middle of the night
ur face appear
our memories appear
the days when u are healthy
the days when u are sick
the days we spent
the day when u pass away
the way you looked at me
the way you speak to me
the day you cried
ur voice
ur big palm
ur smile
ur everything
and the moment u leaved us
i cant fall asleep
i cant stop thinking
i cant stop crying
eveything is out of control

i wanted to be a good girl
i wanted to take care of you
why didn u gimme a chance?
why did u leave without me?
i felt so helpless
my heart broke into pieces
they shall never pick up again
i lost a father
a great father
he might not be the best father
but he is a great father to me
but he loved us
we love heem
iloveu daddy.
u knew it right?
i will be strong
rest assure i will take care of mommy
i will.
i wont let anyone bully us
i will protect all three of us
i wont let anyone of us suffer
i will continue the journey on my own
and find u in my dreams.

;missing u badly

2005-01-06T20:29:00.000+08:00

4th dae of school. so fast. ok. review on stuff happening in sch todae eventhg i find e idea quite bored. sch's ok so far. nearly all e lessons have started. haix. sad sia. o levels. )=

todae-
nth special. first two period was human-geog. mrs kelly chua came e first period. we had to finish some kinda SQ ws. on wet rice cultivation and erm. MNCs? aya dono lar. but e 1st period was so erm. bored? me ky angela n weiqi all doing e ws nv talk. wahaha. so hardworking. but at least we don have to hear chan's sharp vocal. nx.
jus find math bored again. early morning locus and construction? yar. theory. cuz dere are peeps who dint bring deir compass n wadis tt? o protracter. yar. den it came erm. bio. on ecolosystem. hmm. nx. chinese. aya. as usual lar. ws. do. chck ans. talk. hand in. wad else? recess tyme.

nx nx

poa
three long period. sianzation. double entries. dono wad error thingy. but e thing can get into my head todae (=. but forget abt my last yr work ler. o god. double entry? general journal? trial bal? oh no pls. but i noe i hav to buck up for dis subj. tts no way i can escape. sad-
wads last?
math again
we have a more fun lesson. on locus again. drawing now. ms aw gt big big protractor and big big set sq. farnie.

home`
no. lot one.
buy chinese handbook
n went breadtalk buy my bread
so bu gan yuan cuz ysd lost my bread ]=
den saw ling and vien
dey gg town.
wow. so freee can go town.
ooh shhhit!
sat ling bdae sia!~
havn buy stuff. DIE-

den home lor
so sian
in e bus wanna fall asleep ler
den CANNOT
reach home
makan maggi mee. =wei cum back
she went to sleep.
i do my chinese
finally finish
actually take a nap wan
but haix. no time. by e time i finish my work is like 6?
sian. todae wei cook! prawn so nice! like mommy's crab e taste.
but i don like e soup. tasteless one.
i cook nicer.
heehee. did i tell u i cook on tue?
wahha.
*haolian* i cooked e day b4 ysd. lolx.
dinner ler.
so smart horh. but e rice like congee. wahah.

wtf.
kang msg me jus nw
"Sigh, today i got
news that parents complained
that our modern dance costume
is too revealing and VP asked us
to change our costume. I think
the top is OK but guess they thought
the pants are too loose and show
too much flesh. Can we do something
about it rather than change the
whole costume"

wad e hell man
1st costume say cnnt reveal e tummy
fyne- we change
now wad e freaking shitt they wan?
wad o fashion sch esh dis?
pls lar.
our costume are NOT REVEALING pls.
STOP being so old fashion
and kept on saying stupid unsense stuff lorh.
reveal reveal ur freaking ass
i ask mommy "hows our costume
izit too revealing?"
she saes "no. u wore tt almost everytime"
den i told her,"our freaking sch gt parents complaining
too revealing. wth"
she replied, "ask e parent go fly kite"
wahahaha.
yea cheerx mommy iloveu.
wad e hell.
wad is "reveal" and wad is "OK"?
ohh yea.
just like e way u wear in sch right?
from top to bottom cover everything even ur neck?
wth.
don comment on things u dono man
wth.
don worry abt e costume.
cuz we WONT BE PERFORMING ANYMORE IN FRONT OF THE SCH.
get this clear.
U CANT CONTROL US.
control ur paperwork.

;fuck

2005-01-02T20:35:00.000+08:00

spend alot todae
like 500plus
omg
eventhg nt my money
but wahh
heartpain sia
todae so damn cold
early morning rain
rain e whole dae
actu wan go tpy e tsunami disaster centre
but mommy sae her fren went dere
den dey say no need clothes ler
ok lo
so mommy sae e stuff we bring to church lorh
hmm.
went lot one
motive is to pay bill
in e end
wow~
actualli xw wan treat sakae sushi one
but dono gt buffet nt
cuz todae weekend
den okie lor
ate ajisen
wah
xw treat
(=
ok la
first time eat
we ordered 2 sets ramen
and some ala carte
den so big bowl
mommy don wan order ramen
cuz she knew i cant finish
heehee
ordered volcano ramen and seafood ramen
hmm. fried prawns, soft shell crab and fried tofu
quite nice
but salty
nw hungry ler
cuz jus nw is like 4plus eat
ma de
haha
42 total
hmm.
went shopping
went inside erm. wads e shop name?
dorno lar
bought some stuff to decorate our sch bags (=
den went popular
omg
nv spend so much in popular b4
bought new files
9.90 sia
exp
and like spend ov 20bucks for stationeries nia
den oveall spend like 85 bucks?
but i gt e voucher
so like 65 lidt
still so exp
mommy xw sae nx time don dare go shoppin w me ler
sad.
went seiyu
browse thru e cosmetics
den realise i needa buy a foundation
but nth i like
so went watson
bought dis ZA one
and makeup removal cleanser
went breadtalk
bought bread~!! fire floss!!
and donated 2bucks for e tsunami thingyy. x=
erm.
went erm.
o ya
er. aries.
walau
hate e sales ger attitude
like we wanna steal things lidt
den bought some bands n clips
erm.
think went back ler
o ya
saw my darling n her mommy
((:
den mommi sae dey look alike
den she msg me
sae xw n mommy look alike.
wahha
walau
mommy nagg
byes

2005-01-02T00:33:00.000+08:00

todae was kinda wow~
went bugis
we went for food first at dis weird shop w so mani uncles `lol
and e food is nice! prawn noodle!! \=
went to e temple street and actu mom wanted to purchase
e 'tian zhu' bracelet for xw and me.
bud i was so pissed by e shop owner
o pls
u think ure e oni one selling dis shit?
i don gif a damn man
piss off~
had a tiff w xw cuz i tink she was piss by my attitude towards e bitch.
wadever
but patch things up later on.
went bugis junction
went adidas shop
wanted to buy xw jacket
but was lyk- no more
ohh saddist.
she bu gan yuan
so went city link adidas shop
oso don have
went in 37degree
xw bought a black top
i bought a erm.pink? dono wad color spag
and my sch bag! nice nice wan!
overall arnd 70bucks i think
not so exp lar
xw wanted to change hp
siao
her 72oo jus change lyk
not even a mth lorh
den piss mommy off
den ey quarrel all e way to orchard
get off
mommy went back first
den left me and xw
went taka adidas
finally quan her not to change to something so exp ler
cuz she wan change her 72oo to 626o one.
lyk still hav to cover up 3oo buckx lorh
evnthgh she is rich nw
but money nt lidt spend one mar
wan spend oso gimme
i help her~!! (=
taka adidas oso don hav
but found something i lyk
a red top!
55
xw sae nx time den buy
cuz she broke ler.
sad.
den don hav e one she wans
so went heeren adidas
oso don have e on she wans
so givup
cuz saw something nice oso
is blue and blue
wahaha
dark blue + light blue
nice
119!
goosh
but e oth color nicer
grey + red
but no size ler
den i pref e grey + red one
so suggest go e adidas bside galleria one see
den she so angry w me
sae i ma fan
hey
119 lei
not 11.9 lei
of cuz hav to buy smthing real nice mar
she HOP off to e adidas
but so far
from heeren -> fareast
den hav to cross e rd somemore
sian
perspire like shit
den i die
cuz don hav e one she like
and e grey + red one
wad sia
den she angry w me again
cross e rd
den she hop on 19o again
walau
of cuz hav to follow lar
den sian
alight at heeren
den she gimme her posb card
sae she go see schbag
den ok lor
i go buy
sian
shld hav waited
cuz i saw e heeren card
den its like
20% lorh
my dear kisser gt e card!!
zzz.
den buy ler
call her
she sae she wan buy mambo bag
den ok lorh
but offer lar
50% offer sia
so nice e bag
i like!
wahaha
but i pref e red one!
she bought a erm. grey? or charcoal color?
dono lar
but oso nice
den i will b havin so many bags
wahha
cuz can change w her ma
mine red!
my fave color!
yipppeee.
den she spend like over 2oo bucks todae
heartpain~
haha
she rich sia
her pay 814 sia
i still hav to buy mp3 for her bdae
sian
i giv belated one
don care
no money la
wait aft new year
den gt angpao money ma
ay ger
u cee dis not
i gt angpao money den buy for u hor
no ipod mini lar
so exp
5oo ++ ler
i nv work
not rich kia
den went back
she insist on taking train to outram den take 19o
cuz she sae 19o alot pp
cnnt get in
den i don blief
i insist wait for 19o
she bo bian
wahaha
den hop on 19o at somerset there
wad sia
so mani pp
den i like
half sit half stand for e whole journey b4 reach bp
den gt dis lesbian couple infront of me
qingqingwowo
walau
cant stand
den i hav to keep my head down
haha
finalli reach home
nth more to sae le lar
tmr gg e tsunami disaster collection centre
wad sia
mommy prepare 4 bags sia
so big and heavy
don care lar
tmr take cab
i pay
siao
take 4 heavy big bags to tpy
somemore we dono where lorh
siao
erm
sch reopening soon
less den 60hr
sian
i pack bag le
guai horh
but realise
e bag bought at sent one not suitable to b sch bag sia
u put books inside e shape weird weird one
wahhaa.
oya
hav to go buy stationeries.
or else no pen use.
x=

xiaoTian`____

2005-01-01T01:14:00.000+08:00

wow.
its so long since i last blogged.
was kinda lazyy actuallyy
todaes e first dae of 2oo5.
so i shall blogg one entry. (=
first of all.
harpy neu yeur !!
itz e 1st dae of 2oo5.
sae goodbye to 2oo4. 'byebye'
sae bye to a sad year.
a year full of sadness.

i've changed a linkk
for a new yeur.
ecnadevoli = ilovedance.
wahaha.
creative rite?
if u find it hard to rmbr
den just type it tebalek when uwana type my link.

was helping xw to change her blogskin
den realise dis real nice blogskin
so wanted to change
and giv myself a new LOOK.
hmm.
actually wanted to delete my tagboard column
cuz was kinda finding it xtra in my blog
but nvm
just leave it alone.

a neu yeur does it mean a neu me?
a nerd me perhaps.
was 'determine' to study hard for the sake of Os
slogg for one year and njoy all my life
err.
think tt ez?
will have to slogg for e rest of my life
if i don slogg diz yeur out WELL.
o man
y m i preaching fer myself?
kinda like *go hit e wall*
fyne.
nvm.
lotsa events happen diz yr
kinda sad.
26dec2oo4
tidal waves hits asia
causing more den ten thousands casulties + death
death rate increasing
bloated bodies everywhere
o man
wad a 'great way' of ending e yeur
how could something so cruel had happen?
ok
natural disaster
no one can stop it
all cause by e 9.0 earthquake
real sad.
u noe.
when u see 3 4 yr old kids
losing both their parents
small bodies bloated
floating.
rotting bodies.
where maggots started to crawl on
coffins not enuff to store all e bodies.
seeing something u couldnt helpp
seeing someone u loved being drifted awae by waves
when u cant even save urself
u have to let em go
wanted to helpp
wad can i do?
hmm.
mommy was so great
we gg to e collection centre on sunday
and pass em some clothes and blankets
ohh. itz alot. -to me.
cuz e BIG BIG bag.
=x
i loveeu mommy!!
and i wanted to donate
haix.
why aint i living somewhere near there?
i hope i am
so i could experience evrything
and maybe
let the wave take me away
so i wont have to be bothered
if it comes and take me away
then i can go and find daddy
find heem
and be with heem.
so i can reunion with heem.
don worry
i wont take my own life.
i will smile
when i die
i wont commit something so foolish
i might be a fool
but not in dis wae
o c`mon.

harpi neu yeuur all.

ciaoz~
xiaoTian

2004-12-22T21:05:00.000+08:00

gross.
spooky
simply something so horrible.
something so so so weird happen ysd nite
around 10plus gg 11.
after i brush my teeth
i was intending to do my homework
when i realise
my right palm
was stained with blood
they are dried
i wash it awae
the moment i sit back to my chair
i saw e blood stain returning AGAIN
oh goosh
wad is this?
den i went to clean it the second time
lucky nv re-appear for e third time
BUT
i found dried blood inside my fingernailx
oh god.
help me
wad is dis?

and i cant sleep the whole nite
slept at 11plus den woke up suddenly at 1230
trying to sleep again but ended up tossing in bed even at 3AM
oh god
finally can turn in
den dono why
woke up again at 630AM
den slept again at 700AM
oh dear
wads wrong?
with me?
with everything?

2004-12-21T21:18:00.000+08:00

i am so angry
with u
zzz.
leexiaowei
i don hate u
but so angry
nvm
fine.
talk abt happi stuffs.
not realli happi larh
woken by mel's msg
den i msg ky
she woken up by my msg
went taka meet ll wan
in e end she late
den we shop shop arnd
look for mel present
bought something she shld like wan
den headed swensen
dey eat
i not hungry + penniless
so didnt order anth
den icecream cake here
den e place we sit so cold
like directly under e aircon
den so so cold
makan ice cream -cake somemore
den like freezing
me and ky
went heeren toilet
lol
went cine
ky rac plae ddr
lt mel ll and yuhan went movie
aft tt parted
me ky went back
rac kerv went on deir own
took 190
walau
wth stupid 190 driver
complain him den noe
dono how to drive wan sia
make me wanna puke
went lot one
meet wei and mommy at lot one
den dey took so long
den i shop e whole lot one myself
like idiot
cuz i alone ma
den walk inside e shop
if e shop no customer
den e shop keeper keep looking at me
like i wanna shop thef lidat
ta ma de
den so hungry
dey came like so late
den makan beef noodle!!!
quarrel w wei
ma de
so angry w her
sibei dulan her
den mommy dulan me
actualli i wanna head home wan
but i wan buy bag
so must swallow my dignity
x=
den bought dis reebok bag
weeehheeee
gt new bag ler
ciaos~

2004-12-20T22:17:00.000+08:00

yo-back
went westmall bought so many stuff
we choose one singtel fone with sms function
so cute right
wahaha. can sms using my hse fone. x=
nx time can reach me by sms-ing to my hse ler worh
quarrel with wei at KFC
so dulan w her.
den bought something i don feel like eating- popcorn shake
x= actually wan buy chicken meal wan nvm
den went shop shop
wahh
westmall so cold todae
dono why e aircon
like freezing hell.
den gt dis adult choir singing christmas song at the centre
den so much christmas atmosphere.
walk walk
went er...er.. dono wad dis sell accessories wan
den mommy donno cannt pae by nets
den she not enuff cash
in e end i use my money x=
went breadtalk bought my fave bun! FIRE FLOSS (=
den mommy complain why everytime buy like oni 5 buns den dey give SO BIG plastic bag. x=
den nth much to shop
went harvey horman
see see the television price
wahaha. cuz mayb buyin new teeevee.
saw dis v nice curve hair thingiee
wanna buy but like so exp
56bucks
den mommy sae nx time den buy x=
ciaox
eek
so ma fan
mommy sister NAGGGGGGx

2004-12-20T17:52:00.000+08:00

ayo
actually plan to do homework todae
took out my foolscape pad le
in the end mommy called
sae go west mall buy phone
haix. cuz our house phone spoil ler
the digits are un-touchable.
k ciaox

2004-12-19T23:13:00.000+08:00

how was the dance todae? well. actually, it suck. c'mon larh. >1/2 of the seats were filled up. haaiix. wad a boring event it was. i pity the organizor. and guess wad i heard. tt dumbo RC guy wanted UNITY DANCE TROUPE to perform for them EVERY YEAR. oh pls. i don give a shit.

and we were rotting at the same o room. the one with small baby tables and chairs with names indicating. oh how cute it is.x= o wadever. e food doesnt suits my taste bud. its simply jus some finger food and green bean soup. and dis laksa? x=

i wasnt in the mood todae. donno. just kinda feeling empty and sad mayb? dono. maybe PMS-ing. wadever. wasnt in e mood to clean up to help out to do anything. to even dance ok.

went pasa malam. ahh. pasa malam wad kinda things u expect? pasa malam stuffs lorh. nothing new. haix. and got this bumper car. five of us wearing the same clothes looks weird uh? we were like phreaks taking a stroll in e park. x= bought some fruit back for mommy. cuz was feeling kinda guilty to let her by herself the whole night. xiaowei went town and i was told that she's stuck there. wadever.

im practicing to split..!! gonna prove those who think trainings are useless WRONG.

was feeling kinda hungry cuz didnt really eat much so cooked a packet of maggi mee using e microwave oven. din intend to stay long tonite. feeling kinda tire? not really actually. dono wad got into me todae. was feeling a bit 'NOT-ME' x=

todae's the 65th dae.

2004-12-19T14:31:00.000+08:00

i've done some housework todae. full of satisfaction. (:wahaha. gonna stay up net for an hour before getting ready for my performance later on at yew tee park. those who saw dis msg pls don forget to come and support. (:

gonna really do some homework todae man.
can't stay long up net cuz it wont do me any good.
oh shit
i've yet done my anti drug poster. \:
ma de.
wadever.
~ciaoz

2004-12-19T01:14:00.000+08:00

weeeh. had a fun day out with my friends. my new specs are ready. anxious to see how i look with that specs? one word, NERDY. yarh true enuff i look nerdy. but do u think i care? i love to look like a nerd. wahaha. catch me in sch k. hohoho. kaiyin is complaining i am wasting money on extra stuffs again. *roll eyes* but i really can't help it grl. =) cuz i am xiaotian.

ok back to common stuffs. went arcade meet joys n my best bud and went straight to j8. to avoid getting late for hamzah's crew, phew. we got there dis time round like.. 10mins earlier? Lucky man. was waiting for my dimwit sister. she's so late. she missed J.A.D.E and lil dotx<-- i think and she saw ann's crew. and was screaming at me for not answrin e fone. hey grl. itz LOUD music outah and im njoyin myself k. wadever it is, letx continue and don spoil my mood by mentioning dis bitch here. oOps. of cuz she isnt a bitch. jus a description. wahaha. the performances were so great man. a great hiphop nite. gota see so many wonderful crews performing is realli something so enjoyable. im loving dance from the inner self. wahaha. wadever crap it is. im gg to congrate HAMZAH&crew that they won the whole event. it's the FINALS hey guys. n xuegao compliment that wad they've done is really something call HIPHOP they have the groove and techniques. but wad it lack it perhaps there shld b more dancers than only the three of them. congrates lavigne for taking the 'best of the best dancer' trophy and she's taking a trip to taiwan woh. but i think wad makes hamzah more 'haolian' is that they won B.A.D those yucky sissies. dey didnt even make it to top3 lorh. oh guyx. just shoOo k. oOpx. i hope no B.A.D fanx saw this. hmm. juz feel so great. wow.

Wanna recommend this v nice show. korea movie. My little bride by small enxi and dong dou nu zi de guy. okie. dis show is damn great and nice. compared to my sassy girl and windstruck. and damn funny. its abt how a couple of gap 8yrs manage to fall in love with each other AFTER they are married. hmm. just something VERY nice. 5 stars rated. wohooo.

There's a performance tmr at ut park. o shit.
there isnt a gurantee tt music is available.
oops ohh.
i've to hand up anti-drug poster tmr.
oh shit
i needa work on it.
erm
make it tmr k.
im tire.
nite.

2004-12-17T19:08:00.000+08:00

weeh
went lot one to eat dinner
so full
bought two vcd
one korea wan 'my lttle bride' by Kim Raewon and Moon Geunyoung
one hong kong wan 'long feng dou' by andy lau and sammi cheng.
mommy bought me and xiaowei each a cute lil puppy! =)
so cute and chubby.
i shall sleep with it everyday
goodnite.

2004-12-17T16:35:00.000+08:00

slept at 2 last nite/morning
woke up at 1 dis atfternoon.
xiaowei was so anxious
she's taking her n'level result todae
went with her
waited for like an hour
there are people crying
there are people cheering
and she passed.
she scored 8pts.
congrates silly girl!
now u wont think of gg ite anymore le wor
kinda relief.
finally.
at least i can answer for dad in heaven.
raining now
seems to be raining forever
small drizzles
with spiritual wind
so calm
so peaceful
so nice
u wld be happy for us if you know
xiaowei made it
she didnt let u down
=)

2004-12-16T20:37:00.000+08:00

the upgrading scheme has started.
and my estate is getting noisier and dirtier.
dono since wad time
the grilling noise woke me up from my sleep
but i still continue to sleep till 1300.
woke up
found myself hungry
ate lunch
mommy cooked bah kut teh =)
yummyy!!
den xiaowei wan go see doc
she sore throat and cough
so went poly clininc arnd 2o'clock
waited so long.
had a talk with her.
so damn angry.
listen to my mayday cd twice
den go in ten min come out
i thanked the doc den xiaowei sae why sae thankyou
we waited so long more den an hr den hav to sae thankyou.
wahaha.
waited at the pharmacy
was having conflicts with my darlin sister.
den started to rain

call mommy on e fone
sae i go make specs horh
weheee!
i'm gg to hav a new specs
$35 nia
cheap rite =)
pay deposit $10 w my posb card
no jing shi
oni shang guang
e optician sae my eyesight GOOD =)
but during lesson hav to wear
cuz will copy wrong thing
wahaha

went photo shop develop some fotos.
went NTUC bought lays, potato chips and hello panda.
broke le
walk home
raining
so went under e blocks
xiaowei slippers slippery wad
den i threaten her
den walk so fast
don wanna wait for her
so damn angry w her.
ma de.

o shit
promise myself to do some homeworks
but in e end still undone

rachel!!
i've recv ur card
thankiex.
merry christmas too.

o hell
wad do u wan
why must u gv up
ma de
real damn angry w u
cant talk u round
why
why
why
tell me
i don understand
even if u tell me
i still don understand
y do u hav to ruin ur future?
i don hav e intention to demoralise em
but why cant u understand?
how can i make u understand?
i dono
it makes a difference
it does sounds a step LOWER
u have e ability
why waste it?
one more yr
why cant u have e determination?
i'm telling u now
if u choose that decision
i will
definitely
NOT TALK TO YOU ANYMORE
I AM REALLY ANGRY
I'M TELLING YOU NOW!
kao
damn pissed

this is wad u call
'talk to mommy le'
don try to kid me
she donno anyth
she beliefs anth u sae
wad e hell

education might not be the only way to excel in life
but education is the least factor to survive in this society
in e realistic society,
they don recognise who u r
they recognise by certs
the higher certs u posses
the higher post they think u fit

its no luffing matter grl
if u wanna waste ur time awae
i've gt nth to sae.
i'm disappointing.
VERY.

why at this pt of life
when we needa choose something so important
u are not here?
how much i wish u r here.

2004-12-15T23:43:00.000+08:00

K A O X S R U L E Z

I'm back!! From THE REGENT SINGAPORE hotel.
Hmm.. didnt get to update on sunday cuz i reach home too late.
Well, this's gg to be a LONGG entry.
Lets start from sunday k.
hope i didnt miss out any part.
Sunday.
Went j8 again for wulindahui. HaiDie Showcase. Was so damn high. wahaha. taught us jolin's zhao pai dong zuo and wilber's kuai le cong bai. wow. saw pan shuai oh! Damn shuai OH!! Wilber damn handsome. wahaha. Ann and her frenx danced a few dance. wanted to join so much but.. haix. bo lui.. wahaha. reach home quite late 1200 lidt.

Went on k.

Monday.
Woke up at 10plus.
ky called me at 11 to make sure i'm awake.
called zl den she was sleepin.
woke her up.
pack bag.
wow. i brought 2 bags.
and 2 full bags.
can u imagine?
look as if i'm gg overseas.
bragging.
wahaha.
den meet zl go ky hse eat lunch
meet 1300 but 1230 still at home
ok la.
usually
late.
zl late oso
so
went her hse late
den makan mee fen.
nice.
mel at her hse le
she makan finish
wait for us finish
den mag called
she at cck le
so we leave her hse
ky mommy sae can bully ky
wahaha
den meet mag
she wore racer back!!!
finally something SLEEVELESS.
-_-
okay.
den mel mommy come
we leave for commonwealth
den alight
board 111
wahaha
e bus i took w mommy to go queenstown shopping centre
den alight somewhere near tanglin mall/shopping centre
den walk walk walk to e hotel
wow
i write so long now den reach e hotel
waahaha
e entrance of e hotel gt dis v enormous erm..
snow ? house? aya wadever thingy to decorate for christmas la
den we all like sotong tourist lidt took pictures everywhere
wahaha
den infront of e elevators gt a v v tall christmas tree
den we took pictures there
den post dere
ky n zl even lie on e floor den me and mel stand behind
look so 'walau'
den we all so xing fen
went to e rm
11th floor sia
den e elevator is transparent wan
den so high
wahaha
we hav to put e card den can press e floor ma
den we all so toot
press and press e lift wont leave wan
den reach e room.
k la
compare to shangrila rite
i prefer shangrila oso.
horh guys?
haha.
den leave our stuff
went out.
walk to town
den mag and mel mommy hungry
so we walk to find FOOD
in e end donno why ended at the california pasta restaurant
e stuff there so exp den nobody in e shop somemore.
the whole place like ours make noise oso can
but e serv not v good
we call call call
no response
somemore e waitress so near us
she dumb arh
wahaha
in e end
our cai dan:
i - milk
ky- espresso
zl- mocha
mel- latte
mag- hot choco
mel mommy- coffee.
den we still order,
-traditional cheese pizza
-hawaiian pizza
-donno wad brownie.
ky expresso so damn small den so exp den so bitter
wahaha
den she complain complain why hers so 'cute'
den so bitter so she add ALL e syrup inside
someone sae i add 5 packet of sugar so dumb someone dumb-er.
wahaha
den become so sweet like hell.
den in e end keep on adding plain water
den e expresso from bitter->sweet->cold
in e end
nv even drink 2 mouthful
wasted.
haha.
den we so full.
walk to cine
den mel mommy went home.
mel and ky played DDR.
den we saw dis v cute ah pek
playing e pilot thingy and e police thingy
so farnie and cute
imagine ur ah gong go arcade
wahaha
den nth to shop went back b4 7 cuz we wan swim
e pool open 7am-7pm.
dono why
den we bought softdrinks den hav to walk so far back
sweat!! sweat!! sweat!!
den rush to e pool
e pool so small
but deep sia
2.1m
den we plae plae plae
went to e changing room
took their rode
naked went back to our room
w e rode on lah
den hav farn
wore e rode only sia everyone
all naked inside
den so ez 'zou guang'
den took fotos bla bla bla..
den plae 'murderer'
drank e stupid wine
so damn alcholic.
13.5% sia mine.
den so er xin
cuz i don like e taste
is red wine la
but don like
ky don like her mudshake
like milo lidt
no much alcholic taste compare to mine
den plae plae plae
den took videos.
wahaha
den hungry order KFC
eat til e whole rm so dirty
den we went out plae DDR again
ask for room service
wahaha.
den didnt sleep.
5am in e morning sia
den make so much noise
5am gt pp call our room
sae we noisy
den actually wan make mag so sleepy
nx dae cnnt wake up go band wan
but failed.
den 6am zl complaining hungry wan go mac
siao
so early
haven even sleep a bit
den she making so much noise
no body bother to li her.
wahaha
den in e end we slept till eleven
mel 1st wan to wake up
den me ky follow by zl
dis time round we so kai fang compare to shangrila
we wear bra in e toilet nia oso can
den go toilet nv close e door
one person bathe one person outside do something else
wahaha
2nd dae
took cab to fareast
we went ljs makan breakfast-aka-lunch
den shop shop
mel bought one skirt
den went wisma
tannlines
try on bikinis and dresses
den went daniels yam
try on prom dress
so tire sia
walk walk walk
went taka buy gogo sausage=)
den time pass so slow
cuz we waiting for mag to return from band den go pastamania eat
went cine
bk wait for mag
went pastamania wait
den she came
eat!
finally.
ate seafood mania! my fave!
4 of em all ate beef bolognese..
den went cheers buy stuff
went back hotel
took cab
bathe
watch tv
everyone so horny on e bed
wahaha
pull zl rode
e counter pp called complain we noisy
k lo
we lower down our vol
plae truth-or-dare
den ky had to kiss all of us.
wahaha.
den we took pictures.
plae one dono wad game invented by zl
den i so stupid
write all e forfeit had to do everything myself sia
den do e forfeit pp call our room sae we noisy
we so kb
cuz we OREDI LOWER DOWN our vol le lo
den still complain
sae we woke our 'neighbour' up
call us change room
spoil our mood.
den we nearly shouted vulg on her lorh.
zzz.
so dulan
den we LOWER our vol LORH
wad to do.
but spoil our mood le
haix
but nvm
we continued
e forfeit so sway
i had to do
50 dose kinda squat stand thingy
and 30 sit-ups.
lucky in e end i took e present
but i think i left it in e room
cuz no one took it
not in my bag
ma de
so kao!
qi si wo leR!!!
den we slept aft watching wo cai
so squeezy sia
1st nite still ok
2nd nite so squeezy
mag e first to sleep again
den nx dae morning
8-9am lidt woke up
went mac to makan breakfast
den me mag and mel went taka cuz i wan buy gogo sausage
zl ky went back hotel room
den aft we bought we went wisma shop a while
went royal sporting house
and precious thots
den mel shoot everything she see
wahaha
mag mess up e jigsaw puzzle
e shop keeper like a bit dulan
wahaha
went back
den me mel zl ky lie on e bed
mag on e sofa
den we talk
talk
talk
chat
chat
chat
walau
e counter pp call again lor
sae we making too much noise
5th time sia
afternoon guest oso sleeping
siao
den mag fall asleep again
four of us plae truth-or-dare
den my dare so erxin
ky stupid idea
den in e end all truth
nobody DARE plae DARE.
wahaaha.
den times up!
hav to leave ler
walau
i thot i pack everything ler
in e end so many things haven pack
den panick sia
all of em waiting for me
den sae goodbye to e room
waahaaha

summarise:
dis time round e hotel serv not so good den e pool not so nice.
but we more 'expose' oso
talk abt bras stuff..
change infront of everybody
wahaha
shangrila nicer but dis wan nearer to town
shangrila so so far from town..
but memories are made again and carved on to our pages. =)
K A O X S
hoorayxx!!! =)
memoriex takenx:

At cck mrt station

At the california restaurant

KY AT CCK W ZL ADIDAS SHADES

MAG AT CCK W ZL ADIDAS SHADES

OH MY GOD!! HORH!! KY FLIRT!!!!

2004-12-12T13:43:00.000+08:00

woohaa.

wow. the dance was fabulous.
it was so nice. okay larh.
some teams were good.
some were just suckling.
we are better =). wahaha.
wad a dae.
i missed out hamzah's team.
sad case.
bcuz of hayena grl larh. walau.
she so damn late.
we were supppose to reach j8 at 6.30 and we left cck at 6.10. haix.
didnt really make it for hamz team.
was a bit sad and disappointing cuz joys n ky sae it was great.
nvm nvm, tts still e finals.
im not going to miss it AGAIN.
they got in!
CONGRATES and congrates to Ann's team too.
dey were great too when dey sae dey plan to lose.
wad a thing to sae.
dey did stand a great chance being selected for e grand finals.
it was a great show. =).

was damn hungry on the train den hav to suffer till we finish e dance and everything.
went to breadtalk to grab a bite cuz dey dono wan go pastamania or kfc and we lost ky n zl.
wahaha.
den in e end go kfc.
ate till so full like i've gain 2more kilos.
woooh.
tt wont b ez i guess or ky wld hav eaten lotx more to gain more wt.
den shop shop around j8.
went esprit to try on a very nice blouse. 49.90.
it was white and long sleeves.
but veri nice.
zl like it alot.
den shop shop around seiyu for perfumes and BRAs.
ky told us which two pierre cardin BRAs she bought recently.
wahaha.
hmm. watch tv, listenin to mayday's album =) wei bought for me!!, and bloggin at e same time.
pro rite?
but mommy was a bit piss.
on the way home.
me joys ky and zl were discussing about BRAs and SIZEs.
erm.
izit okay to discuss it here?
well nvm.
but e worst part is that zl luff too much.
ky and me told her abt e crabstick incident happened at her hse den she started luffin till e whole train were looking at us.
OMG. wad an embarrassing moment. wahaha.
tmr gotta dance showcase to go at j8.
weeeehhh! cant wait.
OK. ONE more dae.
SHIT! i haven pack bag..
nvm. i'll do that tmr k.
watching dis veri nice show on channel 8 now.
princess D i think. by Li Xin Jie and dis guy name erm.. wads his name?? oh ya. wu yan zu and oso edison chen.
hmm. veri nice show.

2004-12-11T14:15:00.000+08:00

the day was so bored for me. woke up at eleven. rot til now. haven even eaten my lunch. breakfast was fire floss and bak kua bun - i think? from breadtalk.. oh! and soya bean milk from e kopitiam downstair. sian. nobody home again. wei went buy hp w angeline. her hp stolen. poor grl. later 5.30 meeting joys and ky go j8 hamz gt comp! finally smthing to do. tt mean i'll b havin my dinner out lor? poor mommy. makan dinner alone again. ok wad now. sian.

two more daes to mondae.

two more daes to horneeh nite

wahaha

hey grls~ ! if gotcha me pardon me pls

i'm not trying to be horneeh

but i bet someone will.. -winksx

okok.
haven pack bag sia. i wanna drink drink drink! oh ya, talk abt drink wahaha.

ysd we went 7-11 to buy some chips and stuff wei wan drink jolly shandy den go pay e aunty wan see wei's ic. wth. wahaha. den we sae our MOMMY outside den mommy thot wad happen come in see. den we sae tt aunty wan see wei IC. wahpiangz. jolly shandy oso need ic? like will drunk lidat. siao. but think of it quite farnie la. den wei maloo.. wahahah.

-gone-

if later come back still gt mood blog den i continue k. bye. muackz.=)

2004-12-09T19:49:00.000+08:00

o fark.
shuddup.
stop shouting into each others ear.
u guys sucks.
i'm getting enuff of u.

went out.
with a skirt.
oh dear.
me? in a skirt?
never ever dream pls.

joys n ky were in deir pants.
PANTS.
walau.
nvm.
fine.
jp.
sian.
walk.
walk.
walk.
den
home.

2004-12-07T22:19:00.000+08:00

so dulan jus nw dinner time. everybody bully me. mommy screamed at me to go take the rice. pls lorh. wait can not. i say i finish reading newspaper will go help wan wad. den she kb me shout at me. of cuz i dulan wad. somemore i headache lor. waa piang, i yelled at wei to call her don play com come eat dinner she oso kb me. sorry la! i pms-ing. can? den wei oso kb me lor. i oni shift e dishes wad, den yelled at me call me eat plain rice jiu hao. wa kao. sorry lorh i guailan can? ma de. den i stuff all e rice lorh. wa lau. wanted to drink the soup so much lorh. todae soup so nice mommy so long nv cook. all my fault lorh. gl for wad. den aft tt sit there watch tv mommy eat den half way gugu called so i go sipped the soup. wahahaha. lucky no one see. or else so paiseh. but mommy finish with the phone come back saw why the soup become so little den sae. "u drank it ar?" den i complain to her wei call me eat rice nia. wapiang. wanna cry le larh. everybody bully me. wad sia.. headache. if tmr head still ache den i don wan go esth chalet le larh. thur dey go watch movie sia. i wan watch lei. kao. cannt watch. sibei sway. i wan watch the donno wad 'national treasure' i think so lar. humph.

2004-12-07T15:18:00.000+08:00

ysd i reach home at 10plus gg 11. so tire from all e bbq`in. den the water so cold sia. shivering inside e batheroom. wei reach home from work den wanna play com. she so selfish. idiot. i wanna sleep cant she play e com when im not sleeping? i hate e keyboard sound lorh. zzz. den i pekchek go mommy room sleep till today eleven. =). mommy went work wei went work. i was left alone in this empty house. den since i woke up till now still raining sia. wad weird weather. tmr gg esther chalet if rain again den so sway sia. walau eventhg e rain so freakin small but its so freaking cold. =x. wei jus msg me sae she quit her job lei. she quarrel w the boss den she sae she quit. wow! good. gt character. too rash oso actually.haha. but wad i concern abt is her pay sia. she sae wan gimme 1oo bucks to buy my own stuff. haix. tmr bbq again. dono wad time den i can open my mouth and talk. like mute lidat. cuz no one to talk to mar. cold. sian. i go write my fic. bye~

2004-12-07T13:21:00.000+08:00

Life is a journey

winding and long

some days you may worry

your steps are all wrong

just walk every mile

with a song in your heart

end each day with a smile

like you do when you start

It was hayena girl's birthday yesterday. we went her house early morning to prepare stuffs. It was a tire day. it was a long time since i last updated my blog. my com was infected by a deadly virus which block the internet connection passage. it was reformat-ed 2 days ago but the audio hardware is no where to be found. so now i own a mute com.

Today's the 54th day. I've being counting it day by day till the day i can heal from the wound. I can smile when i think of you. Sadly, i still cant get over. everyone thought i was a brave girl. I was a strong girl. I hope i was. but somehow, i might not be.

2004-10-25T19:26:00.000+08:00

long break for me.
happie or sad?
looking around
realise everything was in place again
it was a long time
a long moment.
for me to be in place again.
someday
sometime
somewhere
i will look up
and find you there
maybe i will
maybe i wont
byebye

2004-10-20T15:55:00.000+08:00

hello everyone.

i was glad and comfort to know all of you care

a big big thank you everyone

i truely appreciated

for all who had came for the wake

and those who gave me a small msg,

ask for my regards

or those who tag at my board

thankyou everyone.

i luv u guys lots

don worry for me

i will be very strong

to overcome

and you'll see the xiaotian of the past

very soon

i will stay strong

as i had promised my dad to take care of my mom

now

i'll be the 'guy' of the family.

i wont let anyone bully us

we love my father

remember him always

deep inside our heart

forever.

cuz we know

he'll be around with us

no matter how far we part

how long he's gone

those who wants a hug from me

u can when u see me in school

if u're not "ban dang"

exams are so near

don worry too much about me

study hard k guys

2004-10-16T22:07:00.000+08:00

Let me tell you a story...

In this kampong, there lived a young boy of a tender age of 10. He was the youngest of all. And was adore by all his siblings. He has 3 sisters and 3 brothers. What he used to do was to sing along while he bathed. His father would get very irritated and started screaming at him. He was very good in his cycling skill. He could manage to cycle uphill with his younger sister who is 8 as the pillion rider. He had a dream. Dream of becoming a bus driver. So that he could drive all the pretty girls and take them around. However, he was a playful kid and did not finish his secondary studies. He mixed around with the wrong peers and influence by them and started smoking. As times goes by, he grew up. He met a girl through a friend. They went dating. And after all, get married. They had to move out of the old kampong and to the city area. The girl was a factory worker. And by then, the boy was already a bus driver. She was two year younger than him. 10 years down the road, the boy was delighted when he found out he’s going to he a father. He loves his daughter a lot. The next year, another baby girl was born. He has two daughters who are cute and loving. They have a close relationship. He would bring the family out for family gathering or visit places together. They shared the closest bond between them. The younger daughter was very close to her father. She would share her problems with him every night when he reaches home from work, from schoolwork, friendship to even love problems. Even though the father was so tire, he would not mind to share her daughter’s troubles. The three of them would gang up together and make fun of their mother. The father was always the one who solve problems between them when a fight broke out. The daughter was so puzzled and wonder “what did papa do to make mama so understanding?” She might never know. He was a great friend. The greatest friend one should never reject. He was so loyal to his friend that he becomes the guarantor of the friend while his friend borrows from loan shark. In the end, his friend betrayed him and ran away. He had to pay off the debt for his friend with his low income for the family. When the elder daughter was 16, the father was found out to have contracted lung cancer. The whole family broke down. It was in the fatal stage. All of them knew, chances of surviving were low, but they never give up. The man gives up on the treatment fearing he might not live long if he took them up. The younger daughter believes that a miracle could save her dearest father. She was so determined. However, as days passed, follow by weeks, and months… their father was so weak. Miracle did not happen. One day, the man passes away. Surrounded by his wife, and two loving daughters. His daughter has never seen her mother crying so painfully, so much, so unbearably to see. His daughter knew, he couldn’t bear to leave them. But he has no choice. She knew, if he had, he would wish to see her grown up, see her finish her studies, and get married. But, he hadn’t. He did not. The father gave her a promise. And promise he would recover one day. She believes his father was waiting for miracles too. But it disappoints him, both of them, four of them, greatly. The daughter did not blame her father for not keeping his promise. She knew he had his difficulties, she knew he would wish he could keep them, she knew he felt miserable too. The father leaves the three of them. But the daughter know he is still there somewhere above them, watching them over, protecting them. The last word from him to the daughter was, “study hard”. She promised him she would study hard and take care of her mother.

-End Of story-

Farewell papa. We love you forever.

`Tearx dropping non-stop-

2004-10-15T23:38:00.000+08:00

i merely can`t feel the pain anymore.
it was so deep.
that i can`t see.
can`t feel.
can`t bleed.
what`s outside,
is unseen.
what`s inside,
will never be reveal.

2004-10-15T17:19:00.000+08:00

Yo hi! I`m blogging fast cuz im running outta time. Hmm.. >1hr for me to complete wad I wanna do. Exams are real near. Just finished my English paper today. Don wanna talk about it le. Since it`s over. My next paper will be on next Thursday.. oh god. E math and bio. I`m dead for both.I passed my physics!! Hoho.. 20.5/30…zzz. Hey know what. I passed my amath!! I am damn so happy!! 29/40.. hey hey.. let me action a bit larh. Once in a blue moon pass my amath okay. Passed both my recent math paper. Yipeee..

Ok today. Went bp. With Christ, Rachel and yin. Christ wanna buy pencil case for.. jolin. Cuz we met jolin and Justin there.. waahaahahaa. Not farnie. Ok. Den yin wanna shop for her sister present. Bought the minitoon thingy. I also wan!!! Zzz. Stupid xiaowei sae wanna buy for me till now still haven buy. Idiot! Den we were hungry so went mac to makan. Wahhh.. we so long winded todae. Donno why. Talk non-stop over any issue for nearly 2 hr. donno wad time start. Erm.. ends at 3plus gg 4pm. And we left school like.. b4 1pm? Lolx. Talk so much. Over so many things. Hmmm. Okay.
I have to run now. K bye. Love all who is reading my entry and goodie luck for your exams!!

P/s. to my hao peng you : thank you for your advice. I will study larh. Thanks for listening to my grumbles and ur msg. Yipppeeee. Good luck fer ur exams tOO.!!

2004-10-12T07:53:00.000+08:00

yoyo!! now at cyber lab.. hmm.. cme lesson. bored.. but aya.. ms tan.. let us go cyber lab play.. wohhhoooo...

morning bloggerx. heehee.. now 07.53 nia le. let me summarise wad i did ysd k.

ysd was really a bad dae. u see. haix. kk. i pon school yesterdae. cuz i was late for school. so i turn back and went home. lolx.

mommi ask me to acc her go market then ok lorh. but we didnt bring our key out lorh. cuz xpect to be home within an hr. who noes wad stupid luck we had ysd. we reach home arnd 9-10am den it was like. xiaowei went out. she went to work. den she go locked the stupid door. ma de. den we were locked outside the door lorh. 'you jia hui bu liao' we bought so mani things then like idiot.. sit outside the hse. kao. neighbour come home wonder why we sitting there. no choice. have to go all the way to jurong to get from her the key. i was wearing those kinda go-market clothes. den quite paiseh.. haha.. den when i reach there.. ermmmzxz.. lost. i lost my way. the bus uncle bluff me. took me to the wrong stop. den like idiot walk walk around. waye call den realise i walked wrong way. lolx. she lost her locker key. the company one. then panick lor. scold me somemore. zzz. den don care her go home. board a cab home. wahh.. 5.80 leh. siao. reach home round 11am den in the end.. sleep.
i slept for 4 hrs sia. till 3.30 den wake up. lolx. actually ysd pon sch wanna study wan. in the end. haixh.
k larh. now at cyber oso cannt talk too much. waahhahhahahaha..

2004-10-09T13:08:00.000+08:00

hi.
erm.
wad a dae to start with a 'hi'.
weird intro.
haix.
im back to my way of writing my blog
in this form
lolx.
mayb fer once
haix.
okay.
ysd.
err...
wad did i do ysd?
let me recall..
ok.
school.
i went school fer normal lessons.
crap.
i noe.
sorry.
lolx.
aft sch.
went lot one
with vien
rent a ghosty show
nite
went jurong
took cab home
last nite sleep 1/2 wae so cold
dono wad time
i heard thunder
den woke up
close aircon
open window
its raining
den sleep
wahh... shuang!
haha.
todae morning
had a weird dream
don wanna xplain further
waye went raffles.
makan lunch w carol
so weird
makan lunch hav to go all e way to raffles.
sae wad celebrate n`lvl finissh le
siao
den she ask me wad to wear
idiot
nv bring e coffee along
nvm.
alone at home
idiot
jus now com auto restart
siao
donno wad happen
i die
hp spoiled le
si le.
lcd screen gt 'cracks'
is not cracks la
donno how to sae
wan change fone le
haix
no money
must wait till dec holi
sian
waye mond onwards go work le
me le
exams still gg on
shit lar
realli no mood study
haven start
shit
shit
shit
will i retend?
oh oh oh oh
the champion
ren wo ao you
out soon
2o october 2oo4
must watch worh
9pm
channel 8
lol.
i advertising
haha
cuz gt toro marh
lolx.
tts abt it.
bored.
bored entry.
_swim away~~ fish

2004-10-07T23:40:00.000+08:00

bad day. first of all. wtfcking hell. ncc suckxxxx to e core. wtf. alan agree to lend us the no.4 pants and combat boots and now wad. MRS KUA-MA lay hua wtfcking she wans. wads wrong with her. kao. damm pissed. i was given the permission from the NCC teacher MR ALAN TAN b4 the troupe borrow anything from them. wtf. he said OKAY lorh. he ask me to go ASK the cadets OURSELVES. and now wad. jus bcuz MDM MA was UNHAPPY with the dance. she go complain to HQ. wth. HQ commander askin those involved in borrow our stuff to the troupe to aggrogate them lorh. kao. don wan to get them into trouble in the first place lorh. shit larh. cfm kana scolding lorh. den alan tan still go notice board put wad fcking notice. "uniforms are NOT to be wear in any other form of activities bsides NCC TRAINING." WHAT THE FUCK. NCC sucks. we just borrowed the uniform from them for 2 daes then kbkp until lidat. so selfish for wad. wad stupid cca. wad integrity. all bullshit larh. and now when i go ask kang wad to do with this. noe wad she sae. "go ask alan tan". go hell larh. she oni noe how to clear probs fer herself. kao. everyone sucks. cant stand all the teacherx. freak. now wad. fuck larh.

2004-10-06T21:17:00.000+08:00

Lets start from yesterday okay. Heehee.. went to Mediacorp to record the 'huan le dian feng 7'.. cuz got toro mah.. lolx. Yin went too. Queue quite a while then went in. stupid we sat at the wrong place. We wanted to see his front view not his back view and we do not want to be casted on the screen. What the shit. Den was like.. sitting there 3hrs. diao.. Felicia chen very chio. Actually wanna ask her autograph wan.. but nvm.. we waited so long to see toro and yan xing shu sang. they sang 'ren wo ao you', 'dui shou' and toro sang 'give it up' too. He dance so nice sia. Den so playful somemore. When we leaving.. yan xing shu donno why stand in front of us den I held out my hand shook with him.. =).. Chop chop.. went home arnd 10.30pm .. reach home arnd 11.30pm. phew.. toro became very mature le worh.. hope my face wont be casted on the screen. Zzz.

Today kwok on MC den 3 periods do sec4 mock exam paper I. Stupid sia e first relieve tcher the Mr Ng.. KBK.. den ms rashidah came on the 2nd period. After tt the kuku micky mouse tcher (mr chua) came in. chop chop. POA sian. I sure die for EYE.

We are really like new-fren now.. haha.. like just know each other.. but with history on us. Cheerx. exams coming worh.. take care =)

2004-10-04T20:37:00.000+08:00

ass. stoopid sister. didnt wake me up. kao. she went to mediacorp to look for toro. wth. i wanted to go. zzz. cuz i was asleep. she knows she hav to spend more time waking me up when im asleep lorh. i bet she just call and i dint respond. tts it. wth. real angry. mommy sorry. i was angry. didnt mean to shout at u. but anyw, u promise to buy me the nx ticket when toro come again nx time. haha.

today was freak ok. i flunk my bio. eventhg mrs kumar was kind enuff to mostly let out her answers, i can catch 60% of it. but too bad i did nt really study for it. if not i belief i wont flunk it. haix. no use pondering over things that have past. why not look forward and welcome the future. crap.

yin told me something so amusing and shocking early morning. nearly gotta heart attack. from luffing too much. =x. lame i know. hahahahahhahahahaha.

went mac to study. haizh. went yin hse first cuz she wanna change. den went mac, wait for liling. chop chop. was so damm sleepy studying the proving trigo stuff. i give up. proving trigo = no no. let me flunk my amaths again. it wont make a significant diff in my grades anyway. zzz.
freak. exams coming and my attitude aint right yet. wth.

2004-10-03T03:35:00.000+08:00

it`s damm phreaking late now. and what am i doing? blogging. so stupid. i should be sleeping. damm it! bcuz of this stupid blog. i have to sit down there and compose everything. cuz i wont evn hav the time to blog. i noe changing skins takes up most of my time. not going to waste time le. so rather sleep late. cuz tmr sunday. oh wad shitt. TENSION!! xxx">xxxzzz. should hav rejected. but nvm, since i said 'ok' den serve me right. tsk tsk..

went there late abt 6 reach. u ate evrything. thank god. haizh. but heart still breaks. sorry, i cant take u back, i hope i can. i have my limits too. was so damm hungry at 8pm. took my one and only meal at 12pm when i woke up. and was damm hungry by 8pm. but hav to send that phreaking bitch home. starve till we reach lot one. zzz.

angeline came my hse till 1230. freak.
thot she don wanna go home le.
k lar. really tire le.
nitex.
tag tag wor.
cuz v empty loook so weird.
gotta new link fer my tag too.
cuz i deleted my old one.
getting so freak!
really cannt make it le
don wanna wait for it to shut down le
just press e main power.

2004-10-02T16:57:00.000+08:00

I`M GETTING REAL PISS OFF BY THIS BLOG. ZZZ. SORRY!! I`VE MENDED THOUSANDS TIMES BUT THE TAGBOARD JUST DON WANAN COME OUT. APOLOGISE. I`LL FIX IT WHEN I`M FREE.
-IRRITATED-

2004-10-02T13:36:00.000+08:00

sorry. i just have to say sorry. but besides sitting by your side and look at you. what more can i do? teach me please. i don`t know.

Today`s TORO birthday.
Happy Birthday Dude.
And heard that he`s here. -smiles

2004-10-01T20:53:00.000+08:00

i`m so sad todayy.
sorry.

___________________________

ok, okay. Now den i realise its abt tt matter. hallo?? what do i DARE to do to you?? the words u use are so strong. what did i dare to do to you? i don get u lorh. i just find out what happen. what did i dare to do to you? i dare to steal something to you? i dare to snatch ur guy? i dare to badmouth you? i dare to what? WHAT? what did i do to you? did i ask? u`re the one who didnt tell. i never blame u. close frenz? close in what term? since u said we were once close, and when tt matter happen u said we were still close, but did u tell me anything? did u tell me ur problems? did u? u consider me as close? when people ask what happen to u, do i know? wad do i know? nothing. i find myself like a fool. people thot we are close frens, but what a joke, i noe nothing about a close fren. i donno what happen to her. a joke huh. since u don wanna say, thats no pt if i ask. its he who tell me, tts it. i didnt ask further. did i? i didnt ask u. did i? i know u don wanna talk about it. so i didnt ask. so its my fault huh? again.

2004-10-01T17:33:00.000+08:00

okok.. i am really really dammm sorry.. i have to change a username to continue cuz i was too forgetfull.. zzz. link dis link frm TODAY onwards. sorry wor